Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart

It’s hard to not be all about the past and nostalgia during the holiday season. For instance, we all have the little traditions that put us in the spirit and prepare for the exciting festivities to come. For me my favorite part of the Christmas season is the shopping. Now normally I hate shopping. I leave the trying of clothes on and carrying around bags to my mother and sister. But, when this season comes around I take the reins.

Whether we just work together or I’ve known you forever, if you are in my life you are getting a Christmas gift from me. Hand picking each gift and effectively integrating all that I know about my friends and family is what makes the holidays so special for me.

This year as much as I have enjoyed buying for the people on my list, It’s also been painful to realize and remember the people I no longer am buying for.

It’s hard to come to terms with friends coming in and out of your life and even harder when there are traditions that pass you by without happening for the first time.

As I organize, clean, and prepare for having 2019 really mean a new me, I find myself unable to throw out last years Christmas gift for my best friends. It was a book. Filled with five years of selfies and pictures, proms and silly poses.

I wonder if they still have the ones I made them. I wonder if there in a box in their closet or in the trash somewhere. Mine is one of the few books left on my shelf. For, with the new year and this first Christmas without our old traditions, I wish to learn how to see our old smiles and our captured laughs and be happy for what I once had and learn to not be sad for what I have lost. For the holidays are a time to look forward to a new year yet celebrate the one that is coming to an end.

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