Inspired by the ending of 2018 and by my stepping on a vintage hat box and destroying it, today I come to you with some advice about letting go.
Letting go is a crucial yet extremely difficult part of life. We grow attached to things or people or even moments and hold on for dear life. Unfortunately these things serve as weights holding us back from moving forward. While they sometimes feel helpful or possibly just nice to keep close to your heart, the burden, isn’t worth the comfort.
Good over Bad
Let’s start with my hat box. This happened only a few moments ago so rightfully so I’m still bummed out. However, I also just got tons of happy mail. So I can choose to dwell on the broken cardboard or on the piles of goodies now in front of me. The lesson this teaches is you can choose to be weight down by the negatives or you can focus and be lifted up by the positives.
Good from Bad
On that note, sometimes happiness can be the result of the negativity you hold on to. An example of this is when my best friend, let’s call her Maddie. When Maddie told me she didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. Why she decided this, I still don’t completely know. I do know that had Maddie not told me this, I wouldn’t have pursued a deeper friendship with her ex-bf who is now one of my best friends. I’ve learned more about friendship and life from him in the six months we’ve been close than I learned from Maddie in the five years that we were like family.
Five years is a long time. It’s not difficult to see why I’m still holding onto emotions from that friendship. I still feel sad when I go to certain stores. I still hold on to gifts she gave me. I still feel a smile creep to my lips when I scroll through old photos. The fact that I don’t have real answers just adds to the difficulty.
With the new year I plan to focus on remembering the good times, the parts I cannot change, fondly. Yet, I rid myself of remorse or guilt for had it not happened, I wouldn’t have gained what I did.
Even while writing this post I’m reminded of a quote that states:
“In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you”Andrea Dykstra
So don’t forget the pain. Instead remember what it brought to you.